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About Deviant Ella AndersonFemale/Ireland Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Ella Anderson
Veterinary Medical Doctor. Red Devil. Echelon. Gymnast. Occasional writer. Accidental lover. Optional friend. Widow.

"Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side."
  • Mood: Hurt
Or a comedy. I do not know which but gods cursed me with that. I grew up with fear of not being loved because I was too fat, too ugly and ever since kinder garden my classmates made sure to remind me every day what a strange, fat, ugly person I was/am. But luckily, maybe by taming the Gods, I made friends, at least they were. I have always been there for them, I wouldn't had had a second thought in taking the bullet for them but... guess I wasn't that wanted or needed or loved. 

So this is my note: 

The love of my life took his life with his own hands. I was young but I haven't been able to find peace ever since... I love him deeply to this day. He proposed to me months before his parting and I said yes, I never felt so secure about anything before. I argued with him... My mouth spilled poisonous words, words I constantly hear at night, words I regret I wouldn't have never said, words that dig my early grave every day.

But even in that pain I had my own light... I had the only friend I thought wouldn't bring me down, my friend had helped me ever since we met... We spent a lot together, we went through hell many times. But suddenly... walked away. 

I was used to be that girl everyone whispered 'oh, see her? She is odd, look away!, I'm used to being cancelled on, I'm used to being left out, I'm used to being the second option. I'm used to being forgotten about but never, ever, from her. So it really brought me down like nothing had, and now I walk around avoiding people like a ghost, avoiding their looks. So then I become my own version of Death.

Everything I've loved became everything I lost... Do not get this wrong, I still love her to pieces because even with my small group of friends I had never been accepted the way she accepted me, we were so alike: broken. 

Now I look around and there is no one to talk to, no one to laugh with, this is a journey I have to take.

"Tell them I was happy, and my heart is broken, all my scars are open..."

May the Gods give what all you wish,
Ella Anderson.

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EarwenMymy Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav ! 
2Dlover Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: on 'Ask Konzen' :3
LittleLadyPunk Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Hey hey, thank you so much for the fav :hug:
panamanga Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for favouriting my "Sherlock Bits" :boing: !
Eeddey Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for adding Sherlock Holmes by Eeddey to your Favorites! :happybounce:
Kaiten-san Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for +faves!
Torheit-die-Katze Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Professional Filmographer
Thanks a lot for the fav :la:
Sidian07 Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you so much for faving my picture! :D
MissArisugawa Featured By Owner May 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for faving my cosplay photo. It's always nice to be appreciated :blowkiss:
If you want to see more of my cosplays, please visit my fb page:…
Thanks again and have a nice day! :)
Knight-Emma Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much for the fave! :D
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